Listen Up!

All aboard,

Last week I attended the Human Rights Campaign's virtual workshop, 'Time to Thrive', which focused on LGBTQ inclusion in educational environments. There were incredible moments, like when GLSEN led a panel on creating active and sustainable GSA's (which was largely facilitated by LGBTQ high school students), and how dissecting the Bostock Supreme Court Case gives implications to legal rights of LGBTQ youth in K-12 public schools. The panel I was most fascinated with, however, was the "Responding to Resistance" presentation. I was glued to Michele Hatchell's powerful stories and strategies. Hatchell works for 'Welcoming Schools', a program created by the HRC to create inclusive educational environments. Yes! There are character-based programs that schools can purchase and utilize that work to address LGBTQ inclusion, including school-based and district-based training programs, diverse lesson plans, up-to-date diverse children and young adult literature, and more!

Image Source: HRC's Welcoming Schools

Over the last few weeks of advocating for LGBTQ inclusive educational environments, I've encountered some minor resistance. When I've engaged in those conversations, they've been productive, though. By listening to people who had a contrary opinion, I revealed that there were some assumptions about my vision that were completely off. For example, one person close to me told me they didn't think LGBTQ inclusive literature was appropriate for elementary schools. When seeking to understand, I uncovered that this person though the literature would not be age approprite. In other words, LGBTQ inclusive literature implied sexual and/or sexuality-based literature. Let me be clear. This was something I definitely am NOT pushing. LGBTQ inclusive literature definitely needs to be age appropriate, as highlighted in the American Library Association's criteria. LGBTQ inclusive literature for elementary school children can include concepts about family, love, respect, and safety. This may include books about how someone can have a family with two moms or two dads, or how a girl can like football and a boy can like the color pink– and that's okay– those are not reasons to bully anyone. There are even books that can help families, students, and faculty better understand if a student experiences gender-dysphoria. Hatchell, from HRC's Welcoming Schools, shared a story about how a community used the book 'I am Jazz' to teach classmates about how to support transgender and non-binary youth. 

Video Source: Welcoming Schools

Hatchell shared some great techniques when encountering resistance. She mentioned how some of the resistance can come from hate groups, though. While seeking to understand to be understood is a technique that should be used in most cases to negotiate agreement, when hate-groups are involved it becomes a "No Deal" scenario, and Hatchell recommended it may be best to ignore them. Otherwise, when both parties are willing to listen, it's best to find common values, and appeal to resolving issues for both parties instead of focussing on personalities or positions.

Finding the Common Values

Finding the common values between two parties with contrary opinions can help guide the conversation towards a natural process of agreements. The following are examples of issues about LGBTQ inclusive environments that are frequently debated. There are talking points to both sides, but notice how a common value can be determined.

Restrooms

• Pro-LGBTQ inclusive opinion: It is critical that transgender and gender non-conforming students have access to facilities. The concern here is that discomfort for one student does not mean others should be impacted or excluded from the basic right of using facilities.
• Anti-LGBTQ inclusive opinion: Students should use the restroom with the sex they were assigned with at birth. The concern is that any sex can enter a restroom of their choosing and violate the safety of another person.
• Common Value: Both parties are concerned about the safety of students.

Athletics

• Pro-LGBTQ inclusive opinion: Trans athletes belong in sports. "For a trans woman athlete who meets National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) standards, there is no inherent reason why her physiological characteristics related to athletic performance should be treated differently from the physiological characteristics of a non-transgender woman" (Strangio & Arkles, 2020, paragraph 9).
• Anti-LGBTQ inclusive opinion: Trans athletes participating in sports hurt cis women because they have an unfair advantage.
• Common Value: Both parties are seeking equity and fairness. The NCAA Inclusion of Transgender Student-Athletes Policies is a great resource to define fairness within policies regarding this issue.

LGBTQ inclusive curriculum

• Pro-LGBTQ inclusive opinion: Intersectional and diverse curriculum creates an environment that values diversity and inclusion that is age appropriate.
• Anti-LGBTQ inclusive opinion: Talking about LGBTQ topics is Sex Education, and therefore inappropriate for younger students and is optional for parents.
• Common Value: Age appropriate content is valued in both points of views. Here's a great resource for talking about LGBTQ terms in an age appropriate way for elementary school children.

Bare Necessities

There is a need for understanding and clearing up misconceptions and assumptions from both sides. If the goal is that all students, including LGBTQ students, should achieve their potential, their hierarchy of needs must be met. Fundamentally, the basic physiological needs of shelter is at a disadvantage when the homeless youth population is disproportionately made up of LGBTQ youth at 30-40% largely due to rejection from families (Youth.gov, n.d.)

 When reviewing the scenarios above, LGBTQ youth are also at a disadvantage when they do not feel safe using the restroom that feels appropriate to them. Also, nothing changes in existing policies regarding a faculty's responsibility to ensure appropriate behavior in school facilities. The safety for all students, including non-LGBTQ, is equally important to the LGBTQ inclusive educational environmental movement. Currently, though, LGBTQ students do not feel a sense of belongingness in school activities, like sports. According to the NCAA, "Athletics programs are widely accepted as integral parts of the (school) experience. The benefits of athletics participation include many positive effects on physical, social, and emotional well-being. This is especially crucial as 22% of trans women had to leave school because of harassment, and another 10% of trans women were kicked out of school (Strangio & Arkles, 2020). The consequence of not allowing trans athletes onto sports teams of the sex that they identify with endangers their hierarchal need of belonging.

Here's the ask:

A general ask: There are several actions YOU can take to create safer environments for LGBTQ youth. First, encourage your school administration to participate in Welcoming Schools. As mentioned, Welcoming Schools is a comprehensive bullying prevention program that provides LGBTQ inclusive professional development, curriculum, booklists, and resources. To request training at your local school, you can be an administrator, educator, school counselor, social worker, or school psychologists... but you can also just be a community member or family member of a student!

A time specific ask: The second thing you can do is participate in 'Jazz & Friends National Day of School and Community Readings' on February 25th. Organize a community reading online, at a public library, home, bookstore, place of worship, or community center. You can choose to read 'I am Jazz', 'My Rainbow', or 'When Aidan Became a Brother'. Register with Welcoming Schools and they'll send an organizing kit with lesson prompts and community discussion guides.

Image Source: Amazon

A lifestyle ask: Lastly, listen to people who don't understand your vision. Ask them why they disagree with you about LGBTQ inclusion. Don't interrupt them. Don't prescribe the answer instead of actually empathizing what their concern is. Often there are assumptions and misconceptions that you can address...but don't address them until after they've expressed their concerns. Additionally, communicate in person or over the phone. I've witnessed a lot of meme sharing and hate speech on social media that is hurtful towards both parties. In-person interactions provide a space to utilize your physical body to nod your head, express an audible "mmhmmm", and create connection. Utilize a network of support, and bring an ally into the conversation if needed. Create ground rules so one side doesn't monopolize the conversation. After one group expresses their concern, agree that the other side can express their concern, as well. If you genuinely listen to the other side empathically–and listen for common values– it is likely trust will build and they will return the favor. 

Have you had to clear up a misconception about LGBTQ inclusion? How did you determine it was a misconception? Comment below with your story!

References

Griffin, P., & Carroll, H. (2010, April). NCAA Inclusion of Transgender Student-Athletes. National Collegiate Athletics Association. https://www.ncaa.org/sites/default/files/Transgender_Handbook_2011_Final.pdf

Strangio, C., & Arkles, G. (2020, April 30). Four myths about trans athletes, debunked. American Civil Liberties Union. https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbt-rights/four-myths-about-trans-athletes-debunked/

Youth.gov. (n.d.). Homeless & housing. Youth.gov.  https://youth.gov/youth-topics/lgbtq-youth/homelessness#:~:text=Although%20research%20on%20the%20percentage,these%20youth%20identify%20as%20LGBT.&text=Also%2C%20African%20American%20and%20Native,represented%20among%20LGBT%20homeless%20youth